LESLIE

Dear Harry,

Our daughter-in-law Diane's father died last night. That's Matthew's wife, the mother of three of your great-grandchildren. We have been in touch with her, of course, and her father's death was anticipated after a difficult stay in the hospital and a choice to return home without much hope of surviving for many days. Leslie and Helena lived in the south of France, near St. Tropez, so travel has been hard for their daughter these past two years, since Covid struck. Now that travel restrictions have been re-imposed with a new spike in infections, she is marooned there, left to take charge of everything, including her severely ailing mother, without the presence and support of her family. A dire predicament.

Because of the geographical distance between California and the south of France, we had met Leslie only a handful of times--the first at Matthew and Diane's wedding, some twenty-five years ago. The memories we have are fond ones. Who knew what other emotions lurked below the surface of his life, but we knew him as a man filled with the joy of life and infectious with his ebullience. He was possessed of a sharp wit, a fine intelligence, and blessed with a somewhat mischievous sense of fun. And he had lived a long and a full life. He will be missed, especially by a daughter who was remarkable in her devotion to both her parents, and who is now left alone to mourn his passing. I wish I could have been as good a son to you and Peggy, and that I had been there to hold your hand when your time came.

We say: rest in peace, but in truth we are unable to envision how that peace might look. At the very least, we know this passage is an end to whatever suffering we may have experienced in our human lives, and in that knowledge is a kind of blessing, I suppose. For those left behind, though, there is the profound and lasting experience of grief. I can do little but send thoughts of love and support to Diane as she begins this process. 

May you too, and Peggy, both, who died so long ago, rest in peace.

With love, your son, Peter